Don't Worry About Me
by Sly Silver
Summary: James joined the Normandy's crew reluctantly at first, but stayed in the shuttle bay with Steve. After the loss of his husband, Steve is ready to die for the war, and James is as well, for different reasons. Both of them find a reason to live they didn't expect. Slash, Vega/Cortez, M for langauge for the most part, eventual lemon. Likely a little goofy. Updated and fixed 6/21/12
1. Oblivious

A/N: So my computer's screen is now gone, and I cannot write easily, so this is all done on FF's editor until I can figure out a better way. It's all written longhand already, but it still sucks. I also have no beta or way to spell check this (unless the _parrot _known as Adam counts... he's on my shoulder mocking me and not being helpful. XD) so if it's bad, I sincerly apologize. At any rate, this is written after reading an amazing Vega/FemShep fanfiction by Abstract1106, so it feels pretty mediocre. If you aren't just a slash fan, go read her stuff. It's amazing. And if you've read my FemShep/Vega stuff you'll notice I'm going to continue reffering to Vega as being a bear. That's because he is. There is no Krogan on your squad in ME3 because with Vega you don't need one anymore. He's also better to look at... no offense to Wrex and Grunt.

UPDATE: Went back and fixed some confusing peices as to who is talking and such, who's point of view it's it, that sort of thing. (6/21/12)

Oblivious

Steve shook his head as James came into the shuttle bay, covered in red dust and sweat.

"Crash my shuttle and you think you're still allowed down here?" he teased.

"Aw, calm down now! It's not that bad!"

"Fine, but you owe me a bottle of tequilla for the time I spend fixing it!" James ducked into his corner, Steve right behind him, and started to pry off his armor. Usually, he made a point not to be around James while he was doing this, but at the moment Steve wasn't done yelling at him, and the look on James' face was off.

"You okay?" James pulled off his gauntlets, setting them down on his workstation with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He pried off his chestplate, revealing the toned muscles underneath. And that was why Steve usually didn't do this. He looked. He couldn't help it. Even when he was happily married he'd thought James was attractive. Who wouldn't? He was built like a bear.

"You don't look okay."

"Just... thinking about Earth. I want to go back but..." James stopped mid-sentence. Steve wasn't sure if it was because he wasn't sure what he wanted to say or if he knew and didn't want to say it.

"But?"

"Maybe Shepard's right. We have to deal with this shit before we can kick those sons-of-bitches off our planet." Steve had never seen James like this. It gave him hope that maybe James had a heart under his armor.

"Yeah, seems that way. How is the Commander anyway?"

"He's all right. Worried about Major Alenko though. I get the feeling they've known each other a long time." From what Steve had heard Shepard and Alenko were closer than James would have guessed.

"Old friends seem to be a common thing on this ship," Steve replied. James smiled and slid out of his boots.

"Sure do Esteban."

"So, what's he like anyway?" He asked changing the subject.

"Tough as nails. As badass as you'd expect. But when the Major got hurt... man... I thought heads were going to roll. But he just picked him up, and brought him to the medbay. He looked sad."

"He's still human," Steve added.

"Yeah. How are you Esteban?"

"Other than the busted shuttle I now get to fix, I'm fine."

"So... enjoying the veiw?" James asked. Steve laughed.

"I am Mr. Vega." James pulled on his shirt.

"James, get up to the bridge if you want to go to the Citadel," Shepard said over the intercom.

"On my way sir!" He turned to face Cortez.

"Commander likes you huh?"

"Guess so. See you soon Esteban."

* * *

Steve re-assembled an assault rifle, doing James' job again. The elevator opened behind him. Steve knew it was James, the footsteps were too heavy for it to be anyone else. James leaned against Steve's workstation, and Steve could feel his frustation. He tried to refrain from looking at James, but it was hard not to. He looked up, seeing James' strong jaw clenched, his eyes on him.

"Yes, Mr. Vega?" He finally said.

"Looks like I'm sticking aroud."

"Good. It'd get boring around here without you." James laughed, his demeanor softening.

"Don't overwork yourself Esteban."

Shortly after, Shepard came by, having a short polite conversation with Steve, feeling a slight twinge of guilt that his husband had died due to what Shepard felt was his neglegence. But Steve would never blame Shepard. He blames himself. Shepard went to talk with Vega while Steve got back to work. After a few moments, he looked up to see both men in the middle of the shuttle bay in hand-to-hand combat. He stopped his work to watch them.

_"All the ladies on board, and I'm the only one watching this. Well, at least I have something to brag about at the mess next time." _Steve found himself rooting for James. When he landed on the ground, Steve winced. He felt the ground shake at the weight of a bear hitting the ground. Shepard helped him up, and went back toward the elevator.

"You all right over there Mr. Vega?" Steve was genuinely worried about him, but tried to mask it with a teasing tone.

"Just wounded pride Esteban!" Less than an hour later, they arrived at Palavan. James pulled on his armor as Steve got the shuttle ready. Liara and Shepard got on, James right behind them. He got into the copilot's seat and they took off.

Steve landed, and they got off the shuttle.

"Mr. Vega! Be careful out there!"

"Got it Esteban!" Steve shook his head as he waited for them to return. After about an hour, Shepard called him to another part of the moon, and landed.

"Cortez! Come help me with James!" Steve stood and hurried out to see James's left arm covered in blood. He hurried to him, and helped Shepard to get James into the copliot's seat. Two Turians followed.

"Lt. Cortez, this is Primarch Victus, and my good friend Garrus Vakarian."

"Nice to meet you," he replied quickly out of courtesy. Really he wanted to get back to James.

"Get us back on the Normandy."

"Aye, aye." He sat down again, while Shepard talked with the Turians.

"James, are you okay?" he asked.

"Fine. Just a gash to the shoulder. I've had worse." Steve sighed and landed. Shepard brought James up to the medbay while the Turians got settled in. Steve returned to his work, worried about James.

He got back into the shuttle bay an hour later, his shoulder bandaged. He was combat ready again, but in pain.

"You look rough." Steve tried not to sound to worried.

"I'm fine. Chakwas patched me up." James returned to his workstation, and winced as he sat down. It wasn't as minor a wound as he was telling Steve. He'd almost got his arm torn off by a brute. It was only thanks to Shepard's recklass biotic charge that James didn't loose an arm. But he didn't want Steve to worry about him.

* * *

James heard something from Steve across the shuttle bay. They were the only two down there, and it was easy to hear. He looked over toward Steve, and saw him crying. He stood to go comfort him, but Shepard came through the elevator, and did that. James sat down again, and waited for him to go.

As soon as Shepard had left, he went to Steve.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, Mr. Vega."

"You don't look it," James pushed a little. Steve looked up, he still had tears in his eyes, which James could see clearly. He put his hand on Steve's shoulder.

"Hey, we've all lost someone in this. I know Shepard said he was here if you needed him, but sometimes he's busy. If you need a shoulder, I'm here." Steve smiled, and laughed a little.

"You have far more shoulders than he does." James smiled.

"Exactly."

"I'll be fine, James."

"I know. How about you come with me to the Citadel next time we go?"

"Nah... my place is here."

"You sure?" Steve nodded.

"I'll be fine," he repeated. James nodded, and went back to his corner, thinking that he was a long way from making Steve actually be okay, but it was a start. Steve apperciated his concern, he'd always liked James. But, he didn't want James to worry about him.

* * *

A/N: It's a pain in the ass to write like this, but it got done! By some miracle! This is a good pair. I can tell already I'm going to like this. ^^ Reviews are apperciated, as always.


	2. Krogan Flying Bricks

A/N: I just realized how funny Adam thinks he is. He named my flash drive EDI. Goofy boy. Anyway, onto part two. This may be shortish... but I'm not entirely sure how long it'll be. Maybe while I can't sleep tonight I'll write out a plan. Or maybe I won't. Never know.

UPDATE: Went through and fixed some of the same as the first one. Should flow better now. And if anyone has a good site that has yaoi fanart, I would love the link. And until I started wandering aimlessly on Bioware fourms, I didn't realize how much people seem to hate James Vega. Here's what I have to say to Vega haters, it's a take-your-pick of shut up you're jealous, or shut up, you know you want him. (6/21/12)

Krogan Flying Bricks

Steve saw three Cerberus shuttles on him and swore.

"Shit! I've got three birds on my six!... make that four! I've gotta loose them Shepard! I'm gonna do something risky. Hold on!" He yelled. Steve turned off his com signals, masking his heat emisions and dove straight down. Two shuttles followed him. Two others collided above him. He turned sharply, and spun the shuttle around, finally loosing them.

"Last stand Loco?" James asked trying not to worry about Steve.

"Hold on! Cortez will be here!"

_"I hope so." _A few minutes later, Steve came back, and James let out a sigh of relief as they got onto the shuttle.

"Glad you're all right," James said as they started back toward the Normandy.

"Give me a little credit Mr. Vega. I know what i'm doing." They got back onto the ship, and Steve got back to work while James went up to the crew quarters to get some sleep. When he returned, Steve was still working. Shepard came down to check on them again, telling Steve to get some shore on the Citadel. James walked over as Shepard left.

"So you'll listen to Shepard but not me?"

"What about it? He's got pretty eyes." James felt a twinge of something in his chest, but he couldn't place it.

"Oh, so now you only listen to people with pretty eyes."

"That's not what I meant James..." Steve could see the flustered look in James' face, and he knew exactly what it was. He just didn't believe it.

"Just... never mind."

"I'll be out watching ships at the docking bay, if you want to join me," Steve said.

"I... uh... I'll think about it." He walked away, still not knowing what it was he was feeling. His heart raced as he thought through what it was that made him so mad that Steve listened to Shepard and not him. As they got to Sur'kesh he forgot about it. He started to locate his armor when Shepard came into the shuttle bay with Wrex, Liara and Garrus. He wasn't going.

"Steve, shuttle ready?" he asked. Steve nodded and hurried toward the Kodiak. He turned toward James.

"Hey, Shepard, Mr. Vega can stay with me, in case something happens." James' eyes lit up.

"Good idea. James! Suit up and get over here!" Steve smiled to himself as he got into the shuttle and James rushed in to the copilot's seat.

"Just don't let him crash it all right?" Steve landed on the planet, letting them take care of things, until Cerberus showed up.

"Move!" Wrex pushed Steve out of the way, and he wasn't going to argue. He opened up the shuttle door and grabbed an assualt rifle, joining James as they covered Shepard.

"Yeah! Nice one Esteban!" Steve kept his focus on the fight, and then a Cerberus troop shot at them, hitting him in the shoulder.

"Close the door!" James yelled. Wrex closed the door, as Steve clutched his shoulder. James quickly found some medi-gel, and put it on the wound.

"It's fine. I've been worse." James nodded.

"I'm armored, you stay back, I'll shoot," he replied. Steve nodded as he sat on the floor by Wrex while James shot. His injury was pretty minor. Any front line soldier would have kept going. But, that's why he wasn't one, and James was.

* * *

They got back to the Normandy, and Steve felt better. He'd only got grazed by Cerberus. James had taken a lot of blows from them and was over lifting weights. He came over toward Steve as they headed to the Citadel.

"You all right?"

"Yeah. Other than the Krogan flying a brick, I'm fine." James laughed.

"You're a tough son of a bitch." Steven crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should."

"We have arrived on the Citadel, all crew are relieved of duty for a while, come back to the ship at 1700 everyone," Shepard said over the intercom. James stayed in the shuttle bay, but Steve left.

* * *

James got off the ship, and saw Steve standing watching the ships. He laughed and went to join him.

"Feel better?"

"Some. Shepard came and talked to me. He's a good guy." There it was again, that twinge in James' chest.

"Sure. I didn't come here to talk about him though. How are you?"

"I'm all right Mr. Vega. No need for you to worry about me."

"You seem fine with Shepard worrying about you."

"Jealous James? Think he'll steal me from you?" Steve teased. It hit James. Jealousy. Why was he jealous?

"No... hey wait a minute! What's that supposed to mean?" Steve laughed.

"I'm glad you're here James." He blushed.

"Right... um..." Steve glanced at him, seeing he was confused.

"Don't worry about me. I'll always be yours to tease and make feel human again, Mr. Vega."

"Um... I'm gonna go... play some cards..." Steve smiled as James left.

"He'll come around. I hope he does at least." Shepard was walking back to the ship, and laughed as he saw a bright red James muttering to himself walking past.

"Did something happen with James?" he asked.

"He's jealous. James will be fine." Shepard laughed.

"He really can't see it can he?"

"Nope. How was Major Alenko?" Steve didn't want to talk about James anymore.

"Better. About to be released."

"Did you tell him?" Steve asked.

"No. He doesn't need that right now."

"He should know he's loved." Shepard crossed his arms over his chest.

"And what about Vega?" Steve laughed.

"Different story."

"Uh-huh. When I come down to the shuttle bay and find you two with your pants down, I'll be happy."

"That sounds... really bad..." Shepard laughed.

"Not litterally of course. Just do me a favor, try. You deserve it. Robert would want you to move on, and if you're going to, James is the guy to do it with."

"I know that. I care about him... I just don't need him worrying about me."

"He already does. There's nothing to change that. Just like Kaidan and I worry about each other, you and James do too. Just tell him how you feel."

"I'll consider it, Shepard."

"Good." Steve stared off into space, wondering what exactly James would say.

* * *

"Hey, Liara, can I... talk to you?" James asked.

"Certainly. What do you need?"

"Advice."

"I can try," she replied looking up from her datapad.

"I keep getting jealous when Esteban is hanging out with Shepard... what does that mean?"

"Esteban being Lt. Cortez? Well... usually it means you're attracted to him. He's a strong man. I could see that," Liara replied. She could see the nervous look in James' eyes.

"Wait... attracted to... Steve?"

"Yes, it is likely. I know he is attracted to you." James' eyes almost popped out of his head.

"How?"

"You don't see the way he looks at you do you? He worries about you."

"I don't want Steve to worry about me."

"Well, he does, just like you do for him." James sighed, and went back to the Normandy, uncertain what to do with what he just learned. Steve was back, working again. James smiled a little.

_"I won't have him worrying about me... I just have to distance myself... then it'll be fine..." _

* * *

A/N: Seriously, way too much fun. I'll get to work on a plan for the rest of this... that'll help... hopefully. XD


	3. Distance

A/N: I have a plan now, strange eh? Updates should be more freqent now with my sister gone and off the desktop. ^^ I've been playing Final Fantasy XIII and Mass Effect on and off depending on which is pissing me off less, so I'll probably be going between this story and my Zell/Seifer one. And I apologize for how much this chatper sucks. The next one will be better. I'm bad at writing agnst.

UPDATE: Fixed again, just minor things of course. A lot of thanks to CelestialLight1117, who pointed it out to me, and my darling boys Adam and Dante (who has asked me not to give his real names, it's obviously not Dante. :P) that happily helped me make sure this doesn't feel totally fake, when they probably had a lot better things to do... like hang out with their boyfriends.

Distance

Steve worked on the shuttle, waiting for James to come back. He never did.

"Lt. Cortez... Steve, are you all right?" Traynor asked as he ate silently in the mess hall. They'd worked together a lot doing retrofits on the Normandy, and she was concerned because he hadn't said a work to her since he'd sat down.

"James... I... I haven't seen him."

"He was up here with Garrus earlier," Liara noted. Steve sighed.

_"So you'd rather spend your time with a Turian than face me?" _I finished eating and stood.

"I'm going to get some sleep."

"Good idea. We're headed to Grissom Academy to help some students. Shepard will need you." Steve nodded and went to the crew quarters, collapsing onto his bunk. He pulled off his shirt, and clutched the rings around his neck. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, and went to sleep.

* * *

James went into the crew quarters, unsure if he was smart or an idiot for avoiding Cortez. The whole room was empty-except for Steve. Most of the crew was up and about, preparing for the next mission, but Steve hadn't gotten the chance to sleep in waiting on James. He took silent steps to Steve's beside. James saw the rings around his neck, the same chain as his tags were on.

_"His wedding ring... and Robert's." _James told himself he was doing the right thing. Steve didn't need to loose someone else he loves. Not this soon. They needed distance. But James had started to come to terms with how he felt, and understand it. Fighting it was hard. He looked over the sleeping man, a small smile spread across his lips. It was something he couldn't recall ever feeling. He wanted to protect Steve. And even more, he had the overwhelming urge to lay beside him and hold him while he slept. But James knew he couldn't. Not now. Even so, he found himself over Steve. He gently touched Steve's bare shoulder. It was warm, but James' cold hand didn't wake him. James turned, and left the room.

"I'm sorry... Steve..."

* * *

Steve landed the shuttle in the cargo bay, and watched Shepard, Garrus and James go off into hell. He always hated this. Every time they stepped off the shuttle, he wondered if they'd all come back, and if they did, if they'd come back safe. He never knew. All he could do was hope... and listen to their communications. James was the worst. In battle he was never honest. If he was hurt he kept charging in, a true solider. But Steve was sure it was going to get him killed someday. He wasn't sure why he still worried. James hadn't spoken to him in days. He wondered what he'd done wrong. Sighing, he tore his thoughts from James, and kept an eye on Cerberus. What had he told Shepard?

_"When I'm in that pilot's seat, I'm 100%. Yeah right. Except when James won't talk to me. What am I? A Jr. High kid? I gotta get over this." _

"Shit. That looks bad." He pulled open his omni tool as Joker's distraction ended.

"Shepard, we've got two minutes before I can't get out of here." Shepard hesitated.

"Get out of here Cortez. We'll find another way off." He almost protested, worrying about James, but Shepard was his commander.

"Yes sir." Steve got out, and flew back to the Normandy. He jumped out of the shuttle, and ran to the elevator. He joined Traynor, listening to what was happening. He wasn't sure if that was better or worse than sitting in the shuttle. Both were terrible. After about twenty minutes of everyone on the ship holidng their breath, they got off, safely. Steve rushed back to the shuttle bay to see James. It only broke his heart.

"Shepard, get this horn-dog off of me before I break his nose," a tattooed woman yelled.

"Come on girl, you know you want some of this," James replied. She slapped him across the face. Steve wanted to hit her, even though he was hurt by James flirting with her.

"James, you're waking the demon. Jack, calm down. And seriously, James, you're going to give Cortez a heart attack if Jack slaps your ass with a shockwave." Their eyes met, and James instantly flet guilty. He didn't know why. James needed to keep distance between them. He should have been fine. But he wasn't. Seeing that sad look in Steve's eyes killed him. It was worse pain than any he'd endured in battle. He couldn't keep his smile up anymore. James went to his corner, while Shepard and the others went to the elevator. Steve returned to his work... and found his recording of Robert. He slid the rings around his neck out of his shirt, and cried. James looked away, in the most emtional pain he'd ever been in. Steve had reverted. And that was the saddest thing.

* * *

Shepard went to Eden Prime, Steve sittin in the shuttle bay waiting for the call to pick them up. Liara and Garrus had went with him, leaving James in the shuttle bay, both not trying to make eye contact.

"Ready for pickup, and tell Joker to get ready to make a trip to the Citadel." Steve went to the planet again, bringing the team back onto the ship. He sat down beside the shuttle and got back to work.

When they arrived at the Citadel, James went to the refugee camp. Steve stayed in the shuttle bay. Shepard got back from checking on Kaidan, and went to see Steve.

"You look awful."

"Thank you Commander," Steve replied sarcastically.

"What's up?"

"James hasn't spoke to me in days. I miss him Shepard."

"Why would he do that?" Shepard asked. Steve sighed.

"Not a clue. It was after you convinced me to get off the ship. He talked to me, then ran away embarassed." Shepard shook his head.

"He's scared. He'll come around. And if he doesn't I'll talk to him about it."

"How about you and Alenko?"

"I... I didn't tell him. But I will next time I see him. You and James are way too good to be fighting. Even if you're just friends, you're too close. He's an idiot for not seeing that." Steve nodded.

"I care about him."

"Yeah. I can tell. And he's just as miserable as you are, in case you're wondering. Don't overwork yourself Cortez."

"I won't. Downtime's just even harder now." Shepard but a hand on his shoulder.

"It's hard for all of us. But that doesn't mean it has to be that way forever." Steve nodded. Shepard left, and James returned shortly after. Neither man spoke, but both of them were a little less broken than they had been the day before.

* * *

A/N: That was painful to write. This will be the extent of angsty Vega and Cortez. Mostly because writing it sucks, and I can't take it seriously. Onto happier things now! I promise! That and me making dinnner. XD


	4. Pendejo!

A/N: I'm finally getting around to updating this, went back and fixed all of the previous chapters, thanks to CelestialLight1117 and my usually unhelpful Dante and Adam. This whole thing is their fault, but Dante did catch me so all I got from fainting the other day was a bruise on my arm. If you care to hear why, it's in my end notes.

UPDATE: Thank you once again to Celestial Light1117 for catching some of my mistakes again. ^^ Also to Adam who is here trying to catch my mistakes since Dante is with his boyfriend.

Pendejo!

Steve stared at the picture of Robert. His vision blurred. Tears had returned. Shepard entered.

"Cortez... sorry to bother you, but we've got Cerberus activity." Steve brushed away his tears.

"I'll be ready in five." Shepard nodded.

"James, suit up. You're coming with me. If we've got Cerberus dogs, I need my bear. You take more bullets than my armor does."

"All right!" Liara came into the shuttle bay, in full combat armor. They all boarded the shuttle as Steve got ready to take off. As the cargo bay opened, Steve flew the ship out, landing on the surface as the Normandy returned to space. As they got off the shuttle, their was an obvious cannon firing.

"I'll go get a read on what they're firing at!"

"Get on it!" Shepard replied. Steve flew into the atmosphere, and found it. They were clearing the way for Cerberus to get into range. He relayed this information to Shepard, and got the coordinates ready.

"I need coordinates Cortez!"

"Uploaded!" The cannon fired, and Steve watched in silence as the cruiser disentegrated. It was an amazing sight. He loved watching anything that happened in zero gravity. Making it a Cerberus ship being destroyed, was amazing.

He flew back to the planet, to pick up Shepard and the crew.

* * *

Shepard pulled off his helmet, and looked around. They were waiting on Cortez with the shuttle, and he knew now was the ideal time to tell James what he was doing wrong.

"James, I need to talk to you."

"What's up Loco?" he asked.

"You're avoiding Cortez. Don't deny it, I know you're doing it. So quit it."

"Shepard, I can't let him-"

"It's bullshit James. He cares about you. We may not have much time left here, and if we all die, there's a lot you'll regret as you get blown to hell by a Reaper."

"What's that supposed to mean?" James crossed his arms over his chest.

"You care about him just as much as he cares about you. I could see that the moment I walked into the shuttle bay and talked to the two of you. Every time you step off that shuttle, he's listening for you. And he hates it, because you lie in battle! You never even told him how serious that injury on Palaven was!"

"I didn't need him to worry."

"That's your problem, both of you don't want the other to worry. Maybe you should both shut up and deal with the fact that no matter what you do, you worry about each other," Shepard said. James was listening for once, and he took what Shepard was saying to heart.

"I just don't know. I can't hurt him." Shepard growled and shook his head.

"Pendejo!" James jumped back.

"What? Wait... you don't even know what that means!"

"I know enough! James, you're avoiding the problem. You're hurting him by not talking to him. Goddamnit doesn't he deserve better? He lost his husband! And if he wants to let go of Robert for you, that's huge."

"I don't know Loco..."

"At least talk to him, all right? He's been a mess without you," Shepard replied. James nodded. Maybe distance wasn't helping anything. Maybe it was making things worse.

Cortez landed the shuttle, and Liara got on first, wanting to escape the yelling between the two men. Shepard and James joined. James went to the copilot's seat, and took a deep breath.

* * *

Shepard leaned again Steve's workstation, in a very smiliar manner as James usually did, and looked around.

"You know Shepard, that was amazing last mission. I never get tired of watching enemy ships disentigrate in low atmosphere." James looked up from his corner.

"Man, sometimes I worry about you." Steve's eyes lit up. James hadn't joked with him in days.

"I didn't think you cared Mr. Vega!" As James went back to work, Steve looked up at Shepard.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"You talked to him. I know you did. And thank you. Maybe he'll go back to normal."

"Or maybe he'll man up." Steve laughed.

"I doubt that Shepard. But I can hope." Shepard nodded, and went to the elevator. Steve couldn't stop smiling. He was just happy that James was back to normal.

* * *

James argued with himself as he ate, Garrus across the table from him.

"You're quiet today Vega."

"Just thinking Scars," he replied.

"You know how to think? That's news."

"Ah shut it Scars." James was honestly not sure what he was doing. He wanted to give in to what Shepard was saying and just go back to the shuttle bay and tell Steve everything. But, something stopped him. He was afraid. Not of being in love, not of having someone he cared about, but the fact that it was very possible that he would loose Steve. If James lived, and Steve died, he couldn't live with himself. And if he died... he'd never forgive himself.

_"Friends. We can be friends. If we both survive this war, I'll tell him."_

* * *

A/N: this is shorter, but it had to be. I apologize. XD They'll get longer again. Now, onto the story of me fainitng... I forgot to eat dinner, and stayed up till 4 am, that was Sunday night. Monday morning, I got up at 9 to pick up my cousin from his grandma's, to take him to daycare for my aunt to pick him up later. It was a 2 hour drive. So I'm tired, and I was in a hurry, so I didn't eat, I had a cup of black coffee, some ibeprofin and sudafed, then drove for two hours. I came home, and tried to take a nap, but Adam and Dante got here, so I went to make them lunch. I stood up, started feeling a little lightheaded. Next thing I remember I was on the floor with Dante's arm around my waist, Adam panicking, and a very sore left arm. Apparently, I was dehydrated, and passed out. I hit my arm on the TV stand in the living room, and Dante caught me. So, that's why I didn't post for a few days. ^^ I'm better now. More updates!


	5. Words I Can't Say

A/N: I feel like this is so slow. XD So I sped it up a little. Hopefully it flows right.

Words I Can't Say

Shepard was dealing with the Rachni. Steve was sitting in the shuttle with James sitting on the floor near the door, holding an assault rifle, doing exactly what Shepard had told him to do.

_"Protect Cortez. Stay with the shuttle, do not leave him alone." _But James was bored. They'd been sitting there for two hours, and they knew Shepard was fine. So they were bored.

"Hey, Esteban, can we talk?" James finally worked up the courage to do something right.

"Sure. What's on your mind?"

"I started ignoring you recently, and I'm sorry. You mean a lot to me. I shouldn't be an ass to someone who actually gives a shit about me," James said. Steve smiled.

"You're okay. I get it." James nodded.

"It's not that I don't want to... shit, I don't know how to say this. But I do want you Steve, I just can't let you loose someone else that you care about."

"It's better to have loved and lost," Steve replied.

"Yeah? And what would you do if I died?"

"You won't die."

"We could all die." James looked down. He knew he shouldn't be trying to throw reality in Steve's face.

"And if we all die, I want to have had time to be loved again."

"Loved?" Steve laughed.

"Too forward, Mr. Vega?"

"I didn't know what you wanted."

"You thought I just wanted you for sex?" Steve joked. James laughed.

"Hey, have you seen me?"

"I have. You're a man-shaped battering ram."

"You haven't seen everything under this armor Esteban!" James replied.

"Maybe not. But I have a good imagination."

"Anyway Esteban... friends?"

"Yeah. Friends."

* * *

Shepard walked into the shuttle bay, seeing James and Steve in their seperate corners. He walked toward Steve, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"When are you going to throw him into bed?" Shepard asked.

"I can't. Remember, crew bunks? Not much for privacy."

"What about down here? If you duck into the shuttle, no one will know." Cortez looked over his shuttle, then toward James.

"It's a thought. But he said he wasn't sure."

"He'll get there."

"And Alenko?" Shepard laughed.

"I haven't yet. Doesn't seem right to send him a message. Next time we're on the Citadel."

"Uh-huh."

* * *

As Steve flew around Benning, it made him sick. Not the blood or bodies, he was a solider, he was used to that. It was that Cerberus, who claimed to be in humanity's best interests, but they were killing unarmed civilains, for no reason. James and Javik were with Shepard, helping anyone they could. Steve was coordinating shuttles to pick up any survivors.

When he returned to pick up Shepard, he and Javik were helping James walk. Steve ran to him.

"What happened?"

"Nothing serious Est-"

"Shut up James, you did something really stupid! Why the hell did you charge that turret?" Shepard interrupted.

"You did what?"

"Shepard..."

"He's fine, just slap more medi-gel on him and he'll be down for a few missions." They got back to the shuttle bay, and James started to dismantle his armor. He was wincing and grunting, in severe pain. Steve hurried over.

"James, sit down. Let me help you," he said.

"I've got it-"

"Just let me help you all right?" James didn't object. Steve pulled off his chestplate, and set it on James' worktable. His chest was covered in bruises. Steve's fingertips trailed down his chest. James grabbed his hand.

"Steve..." He nodded and helped James get out of his shoulder pads and leg armor. James pulled on his shirt, and laid down on one of the crates.

"Go get some sleep," Steve said.

"I'll be fine. I... I'd rather be here." Steve found a blanket and a pillow for James, made up a bed for James behind his worktable.

"There, now I can keep an eye on you, and you can sleep." Though he wanted to argue, James collapsed into Steve's makeshift bed, and fell asleep in seconds. Steve smiled as he watched James sleep, and got back to work. After an hour of work, Steve sat down next to James.

"Steve... mmm..." He looked toward James.

"James?"

"Mmmm... Do that again baby..." Steve laughed.

"He talks in his sleep... wonderful."

"Ohhh... Steve..." Steve shook his head. James was apparently more into him than he admits. He was loving hearing his name form James' lips. It wasn't something he was used to. James rolled over, landing on a sore shoulder, and instantly woke up.

"Ow!" Steve laughed.

"Did you know you talk in your sleep Mr. Vega?" James blushed. He knew what he'd said.

"Hey, Esteban... just forget it all right?"

"I can't. You have no idea how good my name sounds from your lips," Steve replied. James' blush deepened. It was the most beautiful thing that Steve had seen in a long time.

"Don't..."

"All right, I'll keep quiet." Steve smiled, and went back to work as James fell back to sleep.

* * *

Steve was waking James, hoping to get him to go get some lunch on the Citadel, when he heard Shepard's voice.

"Cortez, get the shuttle ready, we've got a serious problem!"

"Aye aye sir!" He turned to James, who was waking up.

"James, sounds like we've got trouble, you stay here and rest all right?" James nodded and rolled over, going back to sleep. Shepard, EDI and Garrus hurried into the shuttle bay.

"You've got to drop us near C-Sec." Steve nodded and got them onto the Citadel. He went to join a group that was pulling civilians out of the danger zones, happy that Shepard resolved the issue quickly. He sighed as he got back to the Normandy, and James was up and looking better.

"I'm gonna go play cards," James said.

"All right. I'll be at the Memorial Wall... if you want to come by." Steve walked toward the wall, and stood there, until Shepard arrived, and reminded him why he was there.

"You give me strength."

"So does James. Talk to him. Tell him you won't take no for an answer."

"Did you tell Alenko?" Steve asked. Shepard smiled.

"Didn't have to. He asked me. I decided I'd come by to see you before I headed back to the Normandy.

"Good." Shepard left, and Steve stood at the wall, thinking about Robert. He heard familiar footsteps behind him. Heavy. James. Steve felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn't have to turn around to know it was James.

"You all right?"

"Yeah. I'm better now. Shepard came by." James turned Steve around, tears were in his eyes. He pulled Steve into a hug, while Steve cried. They weren't the same tears, those sad tears that broke James' heart. These were letting go tears. And James could feel that. He smiled and held him. There was nothing better. And James knew he wasn't going to resist Steve for much longer. He was in love. And he knew that. The amazing thing was he wasn't even afraid.

"Hey, Steve..."

"Yeah James?" He knew what he wanted to say... but he couldn't say it.

"You feel better?"

"I do." And Steve knew exactly what he wanted to say. He just wished that James had said it.

* * *

A/N: I jumped this a little more than I wanted, but I think it flows better this way. ^^ I love this story. It's fun to write. I feel like James and Steve are in character, but if they're not, feel free to inform me, and I also take critisim quite well as long as it is constructive.


	6. Hot and Cold

A/N: After I wrote this I found something awesome on tumblr, so here's a place where you can ask James and Steve questions! XD I don't know who's writing this, but they have James and Steve's characters down better than I do! I'm following it on my tumblr which is in my profile, also feel free to ask me questions too. ^^ I will seriously answer just about anything.

Hot and Cold

Steve landed on Noveria. It was cold as hell, and Steve felt bad for Shepard. His shuttle had heat. James was still hurt and Shepard was making him stay on the Normandy. Kaidan and Garrus were with Shepard, both of them complainig about the cold, with Shepard picking on Garrus and shamelessly flirting with Kaidan. Steve laughed as he waited for Shepard. It was a slow mission. Steve was parked nearby, sitting in the shuttle.

His omni-tool flashed. He sighed and hit it, expecting it to be Shepard.

"Hey Esteban... we're heading to the Citadel again, right? You're coming to Purgatory with me." Steve laughed.

_"Who's being forward now Mr. Vega?" _

"All right, Mr. Vega. I'm sure we'll be back shortly."

"See you then." Steve rejoined Shepard, smiling as they all got back onto the shuttle.

"You look happy," Shepard noted.

"James." That was all Steve had to say.

"Good."

"Of course, we don't have a private bedroom like you do, sir." He laughed.

"Uh... Did I miss something here?" Kaidan asked. He was blushing slightly.

"He knows about us. And he's going for James. Or trying to at least."

"James? I don't blame you." Steve smiled as he landed the shuttle on the Normandy again. He saw James working out in his corner. Despite his nasty injuries, he was recovering fast.

"How you feeling Mr. Vega?"

"Better!"

"You look it." Steve got back to work, looking at James. He was still in pain. That was easy to see. But he was strong. And he wouldn't let an injury get in his way. That's just the way James is.

* * *

James was sure he got there first. Looking for Steve, sitting at the lower bar. He was starting to worry.

_"Is he standing me up? Why the hell did that just come to mind?" _

Then Shepard came in, and went straight to the upper bar. James sighed and waved the bartender for another drink. A few minutes later, Shepard walked back down the stairs, and toward James.

"What the hell are you doing? Steve's up there! Go talk to him! He thinks you stood him up!" James suddenly felt really stupid.

"I... I thought he hadn't got here..."

"You're both morons, you know that? Go up there," Shepard said. James walked up, and saw Steve. He smiled as he took up a spot on the bar next to him.

"Hey."

"Hey," Steve replied with a huge smile, "get the big guy a drink on me!" James laughed as the Salarian bartender set a drink in front of him.

"So, nice veiw here huh?"

"Yeah. There's some pretty attractive guys here..." he said looking around.

"Such as?"

"Well, you see that guy over there? He's got a nice ass." James laughed.

"Uh-huh. Anyone else?" Steve looked over him.

"Well, there's you, but I see you all the time."

"So am I not any good now eh?"

"Not at all. But you seemed to not be interested."

"And what if I was?" James asked. He smiled.

"Dance with me?" His question unanswered, James followed Steve out to the dancefloor anyway. James was a little further away from him that Steve would have liked, but he understood why James was doing it.

"You could pretend you're dancing with me, Mr. Vega."

"Huh?"

"You're pretty far away." James took a few steps forward.

"Better?" Steve nodded. It was better by a lot. He could feel a couple of Asari looking at them, but he didn't care. James got comfortable, and smiled. He grabbed Steve's waist, pulling him in close. Steve reacted quickly, wrapping his arms around James' neck. James pulled him in, thier lips almost touching. Then, Joker and EDI came up the stairs.

"James!" Joker grabbed his shoulder.

"Yes Joker?" He growled.

"Commander wants us back. Now. He's apparently in a hurry to help the Quarians." Steve sighed as he let go of James.

"We apologize for interupting. But Shepard said this was urgent."

"All right. Let's go Esteban." They walked back to the ship, an uncomfortable sexual tension growing between them. Steve was fine with it, but James was pissed. He wanted to throw Shepard out the airlock. As they took off, Steve went back to work, smiling. James may be pissed, but it meant everything to Steve that he was upset. That may be cruel, but it was true.

"So will we be landing on the planet here soon?" James asked Shepard.

"No, we're docking with a Geth ship. I'm taking Tali and Kaidan, so you and Cortez are off for the time being." Steve looked up. As James got done talking to Shepard, he sighed.

"So, James... want to... finish what we started earlier?" James sighed.

"I've got work to do Esteban..."

_"Cold again. He'll come back around."_

* * *

A/N: I almost panicked when my internet died in the middle of writing this. XD Luckily it saved. So I'm okay. I just wish my friends would shut up for half an hour so I can write... I don't really. I love them. I do. Sorry this was short. I may write the next one and post it tonight.


	7. Some Things are Simple

A/N: Since this is what I wanted to write when I got up this morning, I'm gonna write it! :) then I'll help Rin make dinner.

Some Things are Simple

James heard Steve sigh across the shuttle bay. Shepard had been on the planet for hours. He'd taken Tali and Kaidan with him, and James was a little upset that the two had returned. He was happy that Shepard had someone to love and that two old friends had returned, but he was mad that he didn't get to go groundside anymore. Steve wasn't any happier. He'd been told to go back to the ship, because they were going to be there for a long time.

"Esteban, I'm bored."

"Everyone is. But you never know when the commander will need us, so we'll wait." Steve had no sooner spoke, when EDI came over the intercom.

"Lt. Cortez, Lt. Vega, please come to the CIC, Specialist Traynor has requested your presence." They walked to the elevator, and rode up to the CIC. Everyone was in a panic running around when they got there.

"The hell's going on?"

"Shepard is attacking a Reaper from the ground, I thought you'd want to listen to what's happening." Both of them leaned over the table, listening closely. Then, it happened. The Reaper was firing at us, and Shepard was in hell. James was silent, totally unlike how he was in battle. His jaw was clenched, glaring at the galaxy map. Steve was used to this, so he was fairly calm. Until the Reaper started shooting at them that is. Then, he was worried. He grabbed James' arm. James slid a protective arm around his shoulders. Everyone held their breath. Then they heard a wonderful sound. Kaidan's voice.

"My god... The Reaper's dead!" The whole ship cheered. Liara hugged Traynor, and other displays of affection were going on around the ship. Without thinking about it, James grabbed Steve, and kissed him. Steve wasn't expecting it. He melted against James' chest, loving the taste of his mouth and the feel of his skin. When the kiss broke, no one around them had noticed. In all the chaos and cheering, everyone was paying attention to something else. Steve's eyes met James', both of them smiling.

"So... uh... I..." Steve laughed.

"Yes, Mr. Vega?"

"Was that... uh... okay?"

"Far more than okay. Let's go back to the shuttle bay. I need to go pick up Shepard... but afterwards...Maybe we should talk."

"Oh... okay." They returned to the shuttle bay, and Steve couldn't stop smiling. He got into the shuttle, and returned to the planet. Shepard, Tali and Kaidan were waiting there. Kaidan was clinging to Shepard, Tali shaking her head, and laughing. Steve wanted to be like that with James. And he was going to be like that.

_"Shepard is getting some serious 'I'm so glad we're still alive' sex tonight..." _Steve thought as they got onto the shuttle. Shepard sat in the copilot's seat.

"Everyone on the Normandy okay?"

"Yep. James kissed me." Shepard turned so fast Steve was sure he got whiplash.

"He kissed you?"

"Yeah. When the Reaper was destroyed, everyone was cheering and yelling, and he just kissed me."

"You talked to him about it, right?" Shepard asked.

"Didn't get the chance. Had to come pick up you."

"You're going to though?"

"As soon as we get back."

"So if I come down to the shuttle bay and don't see you, I shouldn't look in the shuttle?" Shepard asked.

"I would prefer you didn't, sir." He laughed. When they got back onto the Normandy, Shepard and Kaidan went to his room not speaking to anyone else, and Tali went to the Engineering Deck. Steve went straight for James.

"We're talking. I don't care what you want to try and avoid it with, we're talking." James looked up.

"I didn't want to avoid it. Steve, I know I've been kinda sending you a lot of mixed signals, but I'm done with that now."

"Oh?" James pulled Steve into his arms, and kissed him. It was not like the first kiss, it wasn't the desprate passion from before. Instead it was something Steve hadn't felt since Robert died, gentle, loving.

"I can't do it anymore. I want to be with you Steve. If we all die tomorrow, I will regret not telling you..."

"Telling me what?" Steve asked.

"I can't imagine another minute sitting here wanting you while you work your ass off, and I say nothing about it." James hugged him.

"I can't either James. I haven't felt this way since Robert died." James' hand cupped Steve's cheek.

"So now what?"

"I've still got work to do."

"All right, I'll get you get away with it for now." Steve walked away, James looking at his ass with a smirk.

* * *

A/N: this was short, but it's because I don't know where to go on here, and I know where I want the next chapter to start. XD Now, I have to stop and go help make dinner, I've been putting it off for two hours. I'd better go before Dante gets annoyed and orders pizza. It's already nine.


	8. Lost Hope

A/N: I will be going back through and fixing things again thanks to Adam, Dante and Nova. I wrote this longhand while Ricardo was drunk singing along to Alcohol by the Barenaked Ladies, which made me laugh my ass off, so I am checking this over carefully to make sure I don't have any weird typos. There is a lemon, but it's between the first and second line breaks, so if you don't want to read it, skip that section. It works without it.

Hope Lost

Steve smiled while he worked, his mind on James. He was happy that Alliance uniforms were high necked. A v-neck would show a massive love bite on his collar from James. It was worth it, but Steve didn't exactly want everyone on the ship to know.

Most of the crew was in bed, but Steve and James were both up and working, due to the extra sleep they'd been getting in the shuttle. Steve stood up, checking over his work. He felt strong arms around his waist and lips on his neck. James.

"Hello James."

"Hey Esteban." James slid his hands up Steve's shirt. He leaned back into James' chest.

"I am working you know, sweetheart."

"Uh-huh. I believe Shepard told you to quit working so hard."

"We still have a war to fight. Or have you forgotten about that?"

"Nope. That's why I want to spend every minute I can with you."

"That's surprisinly sweet of you," Steve said with a smile.

"I'm full of surprises."

"I know, you're real-"

"Cortez, I need the shuttle ready in five. Tell James to get into his armor."

"Got it commander," Steve replied.

"Guess we'll have to finish this later," James mumbled going back toward his corner.

"Looks like it." Steve got into the shuttle, getting ready for whatever Shepard was going to throw them into next. Kaidan and Shepard got on, James following. He took the copilot's chair, giving Steve a thumbs up.

"You know, it's real interesting getting into this thing for an actual mission," he said as they took off.

"We've been spending a lot of time in here..." He landed the shuttle, and the soldiers got out.

"Keep safe out there James!"

"Relax Esteban!" Steve laughed as they headed in. He flew the shuttle around to a safe spot and waited it. It was a while before Steve started to worry. No contact in almost an hour. Then, the building he'd dropped them off in front of blew. Steve panicked and flew over, letting out a sigh of relief as he saw the whole team and two Asari safely outside. He got off the shuttle and rushed past Shepard, Kaidan and the two Asari, grabbing James. He was covered in blood, sweat and god knows what else, but Steve kissed him anyway.

"Don't do that to me!"

"Sorry Esteban... com was blocked..." Steve sighed.

"I worry about you, you know." James held him.

"I know."

"Let's get back on the Normandy," Steve said. Shepard, Kaidan and one of the Asari got onto the shuttle. Shepard and Kaidan took the Asari to the CIC as soon as they landed, but Steve grabbed James before he could step out of the shuttle.

"No way. You're staying right here."

"Oh?"

"We're going to finish what we started."

* * *

Steve pried off James' chestplate. His gauntlets and shoulder pads followed. James kiss him hungerily, his hands sliding under Steve's shirt. Steve pulled off James' leg armor, and he slid out of his heavy boots. Both of them stopped.

"Hey, EDI, can you warn us if anyone's coming down here?"

"Of course, Lt. Cortez."

"Thanks EDI." Steve turned his attention back to James, who was pulling on the hem of his shirt. He pulled it off, and pushed James against the wall of the Kodiak. Their lips met in a messy kiss, while James unzipped Steve's pants. They fell to the ground, and he stepped out of them, kicking his boots to the corner. James slid out of his pants, and pushed Steve to the bench.

"In a hurry James?" He smirked and pulled off his underwear. Steve looked over him.

_"That is a man." _James knelt over Steve, slowly pulling down his underwear, teasingly, as was his usual manner. Steve loved it. For someone who'd only slept with women before, he handled a man well.

James flipped their positions, so Steve was in his lap. Steve stroked James' already hard cock, getting a low growl. James slid his hand from Steve's neck down his back. It sent a chill down his spine. James slowly pushed a finger into Steve's ass. He gasped, leaning into James. His whole body quivered at James' touch. James slid in a second finger, searching for the right spot. Thanks to some explaining from Steve, he'd learned the differences between men and women. Steve recomposed himself, and slid his hand back to James' cock, stroking it slowly.

"Mmm... James..." He'd found the right spot all right. James smirked.

"Ready Steve?" He nodded, unable to speak. James adjusted their position, and waited for Steve. He always let Steve decide when he was ready. Another thing he loved about James. But sometimes, he wasn't up for James being a gentleman. He took James all at once, getting a surprised moan from James. His hands were on Steve's hips, but he wasn't actually helping him move at all. After a few minutes, they got into a rhthym, and James started to stroke Steve's neglected cock. They moved together, euphoria rushing through both of them.

"Steve... mmmm." James kissed him, and knew he was about to loose control. Without warning, he released, spilling his seed into Steve. It was just enough to send him over the edge, coming onto James' stomach. Steve sank into James' arms, breathing hard. James gently seperated them, and laid back on the bench, Steve on his chest.

"That was..."

"...good?"

"No, that was fucking amazing," James corrected. Steve smiled and kissed him.

"Well, that's what happens when you almost die on me."

"Shit, I should do that more often."

* * *

Shepard went into the shuttle bay seeing no one around.

"Jesus, those two are like bunnies..." he said looking around.

"Shepard is in the shuttle bay," EDI warned.

"Thank you, EDI!" Steve got dressed and tossed James a towel.

"Get cleaned up."

"You made the mess," James teased." Steve laughed and got out of the shuttle.

"Sir."

"How often do you two do that?"

"I've said it before, we don't haave a private cabin like some people..." Shepard laughed.

"Fair enough. We're dropping on Thessia in an hour. Be ready."

"Yes sir." He went back to the elevator, and James came out, fully dressed, caryring his armor.

"Where we headed?"

"Thessia. Better get into that armor. Heavy Reaper territory. If you're not going with Shepard, I want you with me."

They landed on Thessia, Shepard, Kaidan and Liara were in the thick of it. James protected Steve in the shuttle. To everyone, seeing Thessia in ruins was devistating. They were loosing ground. As Steve picked up a beaten and bruised ground team, he fould feel the horror in everyone. They were all afraid. And for good reason. Thessia was lost. And with it, hope was lost. Shepard was pissed.

As they all assembled in the war room, everyone could hear Shepard shouting at the Asari councilor.

"What the fuck were you blue bitches thinking? That beacon could have saved millions of lives! And as usual, you've acted all superior and ignored us! How many fucking times do I have to be right before you'll listen to me? Your coucil bullshit and stupid fucking politics have cost us all lives! And now you get to see firsthand what happened to Kar'Sharn, Earth and Palaven! Fucking bitch." He stormed out, and took a deep breath.

"All right. What's our next move?"

"I say we kick Cerberus in the balls for a change."

"I'm with James. What have we got?" Traynor came inwith an idea, and they ran with it.

"All right, everyone back to work. We've got a few things to do for Hackett, then, we go to Horizon."

"Sir!"

Steve and James returned to the shuttle bay, Shepard came down to see them.

"Steve, James, screw regs. If you want to sleep in the same bunk and kiss around the crew, do it. We may not survive this. Be happy while you can."

"We will, Shepard."

That night, James and Steve weren't the only ones shairng bunks. Lots of crew as looking for comfort. As James wrapped his arms around Steve, he kissed his neck.

"Goodnight James."

"Night Steve." It was the best either of them had slept in months. And they were crammed together in a tiny bed. But that only made it better.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter will be mostly a lemon, and I still think Shepard should have just let the Asari have it after Thessia. Anyway, on the lemon subject, I have too many great ideas for Steve and James. And my friend Jamon is talking to me again. XD I think I scared him off with all the yaoi at one point... eh, at least he doesn't read this shit.


	9. We Have Love

A/N: I spent my day yesterday playing through all of my Mass Effect 3 endings thanks to the extended cut. I found one I like, and I'll run with it for the end of this. Now, onto a lemony chapter... again. XD But I had too much fun with an idea I had. If you don't read it just skip the middle, it's between the first and second line break. And to anyone who may be artistically talented, I would love some Vega/Cortez stuff! It is so hard to find! Probably a good thing... I'd get a nosebleed.

We Have Love

Steve landed in the Normandy, leaving Shepard and his team on Arrae. He worked on the shuttle, waiting for the call. As he thought about the night before, he didn't hear James sneaking up on him and was surprised to feel James' arms around his waist.

"You okay now James?" Steve asked.

"Yeah. We've got hope."

"We do. Reapers have nothing on us. We've got something they'll never understand," Steve replied.

"What's that?" James asked kissing his neck.

"We have love. Friendship. We care for each other.

"Hell yeah. It makes us stronger. I know I fight harder to come back to you every night."

"And I fly safer to make damn sure I make to to pick you up. We'll make it James."

"That reminds me... I talked to Shepard about it, but I never told you. I've been asked to join the N7," James said. Steve turned around.

"A N7? How? Isn't the Alliance in chaos?"

"It's dated the day the Reapers hit earth. Shepard told me I should go for it."

"I agree with him. You're a damn good soldier... even if you are a little hard-headed."

"But... we'd be seperated." Steve laughed.

"Vidmail is always an option. And we'll still get shore leave James." He pulled Steve into his arms.

"Would you stay in service too?"

"Of course I would. I'd go back to being stationed on colonies."

"Lt. Cortez, Shepard will be returning in a Cerberus shuttle, you are free until we arrive at Cyone in 3 hours."

"Thank you EDI!" Steve smiled at James.

"I'm going to take a shower. Would you like to join me?"

"All right." Steve pulled him along toward the elevator. No one on the ship seemed to care about any kind of regulations or rules anymore. Shepard had given everyone the same 'fuck the rules, we could die' speech after Thessia.

As they got to the crew deck, James hesitated.

"Are you sure about this Esteban?"

"What? You nervous about sex all of the sudden?" Steve teased. James laughed nervously.

"No... Just... Anyone could walk in. It's not safe like in the shuttle!" Steve shook his head and pulled James into the bathroom.

"You can just wait for me, if you'd like." Steve started to get undressed, while James sat on the counter. He looked over Steve, noting all the soft curves in his body. James loved the subtle muscles Steve had. Not like James, who was big and obvious about it, but lithe and sexy. At least that's what James thought about it.

"Hey EDI, can you lock the bathroom door?" James asked as Steve turned on the shower.

"Of course Lt. Vega." The door lock engaged and James pulled off his shirt. Steve turned to face him, a small smirk across his lips. James finished getting undressed, and wrapped his arms around Steve's waist.

"Decided to join me huh?"

"Yep."

* * *

James closed his eyes. The warm water and Steve's even warmer body made him instantly relax. He was still getting used to enjoying a man's body like he usually would a woman's. Steve made it very easy for him. He was patient, always willing to stop and explain or instruct James.

"Water doesn't say hot long you know, James."

"Is that a not-so-subtle hint there Esteban?" Steve took James' hand and brought it to his cock.

"No, that's the hint." James pulled Steve against his chest, pressing his growing errection against Steve's thigh. He gently kissed Steve's neck.

"Mmm. You sure know how to please a man Mr. Vega. Sure you haven't done it before?" James smiled as his hands slid down Steve's hips. Then he stopped.

"Uh... how do I...?"

"This is actually easier than how we've been doing it. Just relax. You know what to do." James nodded and gripped Steve's hips. He thrust his cock into Steve, getting a loud moan.

_"Okay, I do know what I'm doing..." _He thought as he covered Steve's mouth.

"We're not in your shuttle!" Steve smiled and pulled James closer to him. He started to stroke his own cock, while James thrust in and out of his ass. James watched Steve, feeling hotter and hotter.

"Mmm... oh Steve..."

"Now who's loud, Mr. Vega?" Steve breathed. It wasn't long before James climaxed, biting his lip to avoid making too much noise. Steve followed, a white smear on the wall. James slid out, still holding his lover.

"The water's still warm," Steve noted. James laughed as he cleaned both of them up. He turned Steve around, and kissed him.

"Well, you're a quick learner James." He turned off the water, and dried off.

* * *

"Lt. Cortez, Lt. Vega, the commander would like to see both of you whenever convient."

"Tell him we'll be ready in ten minutes in the shuttle bay."

"Of course. We have to go to Cyone and a com hub before our assault on Horizon."

"Thank you EDI." James started to get dressed.

"Hey, Steve... I love you." Steve took his hands and kissed him.

"I love you too James." As Steve got dressed, he looked over James, noticing something he'd missed.

"Is that a new tattoo?"

"Yeah. After talking to Shepard I got it. N7."

"No, not that one." Steve touched his lower back, James winced.

"This one."

"I got that one at the same time." Steve looked at it closely. James' other new tattoo was Steve's name, in a simple script. He smiled.

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah, I do." Steve kissed him. James gently touched the rings around Steve's neck.

"They don't bother you do they?"

"No."

"James?"

"You don't wear your ring on your hand. You wear it on your neck. Why?"

"Doesn't feel right to wear it." Steve pulled off his tags and the rings, grabbing his ring.

"Here. Put it on the chain with your tags. It's my ring. Robert is still in my heart, but you have the rest of it." James put the ring on his tags, and smiled.

"You know, when Robert died... I gave up living. You give me purpose James. You're my reason for living."

"And you're my reason to live. We're gonna survive. Then, we're going to a beach, and drinking lots of tequila!"

"Hell yeah."

They had both found a reason to go on, and that was a victory all by itself. Now, they just had to help Shepard take down Cerberus and the Reapers.

* * *

A/N: There will be one more lemon in this... XD Is three too many? And I have to say, with the ending now extended and explained, I have to say, Mass Effect is the best science fiction story ever. And I found a chibi James and Steve that are so adoreable... I wish I could easily put it in here... well, just go to deviantart and search Steve Cortez, you'll find the amazing chibis that are the only Steve and James stuff I can really find...


	10. Feels Like the End

A/N: Three chapters and I'm calling this one done. I just have to say thank you to all the wonderful, gorgeous, amazing, (I'll stop) boys that inspire me and keep me writing... and point out my mistakes and typos. You all know who you are... at least I hope you do! It is an ever growing list... And I'm not writing the lemon here, use your freaking imagination. I've written two. That's enough.

And to those of you FemSheps out there (Male too just 'cause) click the link below for giving FemShep longer hair and more feminine outfits. ^^ My darling friend Kasumi is trying to get Bioware to give us ladies some new DLC, so go NOW and like or comment! If the link below doesn't work search Artimis Lee on facebook, Kasumi is on my friends list, or go into it in my profile.

: / / masseffect ?_user=100001454514646#!/ ?story_fbid=337179263024130&id=256213217787402&_user=100001454514646That

Feels Like The End

Shepard was on Horizon. Steve and James were in the shuttle waiting. It was calm where they were parked, but they were listening to Shepard, Kaidan and EDI going through the Sanctuary in chaos. The calm before the storm. Everyone could feel it. James and Steve were supposed to be paying attention to what was going on, but they were in the pilot's chair, their lips locked. After a few minutes, James pulled away.

"You all right Esteban?" He asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine. It just feels like we're almost to the end of this."

"The end of the war. Hell yeah."

"Think we'll make it Mr. Vega?" James stopped for a moment, not focusing on the first part of what Steve had said, but the second.

"Steve... do you want to be Mr. Vega?"

"What? You mean... marry you?"

"Yeah. Would you do it?" James asked. Steve kissed him again.

"You bet I would!" James held Steve, smiling. He couldn't help it. It wasn't what he expected, but he'd fallen in love. They sat in silence, waiting for Shepard. The call finally came.

"Cortez, come pick us up. I've had enough of this colony."

"On my way sir," Steve replied leaning forward to start the shuttle again. He flew to the exit of the now empty Cerberus base, Shepard and his team looking pretty rough. They got onto the shuttle, Kaidan being held up by Shepard.

"Let's get back to the Normandy," Shepard said as he sat down with Kaidan. Steve nodded and got back to the ship. He and James took a few minutes to themselves, knowing this was it. The end of the war was coming. James paced around the room, worrying, waiting. They were headed to the Cerberus base, into the final battle. Everyone seemed to be pairing up. Shepard was with Kaidan in his room. EDI and Joker were in the cockpit with the door locked. Traynor had went to Liara's cabin while they were still on Horizon. Garrus and Tali had even went to the Main Battery to get some time alone.

Steve walked over toward James, and grabbed his shoulders.

"Stop. You're driving me insane. Relax James."

"Sorry... just... this is it, you know?"

"I know. So if this is our last night alive, let's make it count." He pulled James into the shuttle, and slid the door shut.

* * *

James and Steve sat on the floor of the shuttle in a warm embrace. It was quiet, calm. The last moments before they dove into hell.

"Hey, Steve, James, the crew is getting together in the lounge to say goodbye. I'd like you two to be here," Shepard said over the intercom.

"On our way Shepard!" The two got dressed, and went to the elevator. Everyone was in the lounge, laughing and sharing stories. It was the last night, and everyone knew it. After this, nothing would be the same.

"James! Steve!" Shepard was smiling. He looked around the room.

"All of you are here. Good. I just want to say thank you, to all of you. Every one of you has been here for me. I couldn't have gotten this far without you. I haven't known some of you for very long, but you're my family. All of you. And i'm glad I know you."

"We're here for you, Shepard," Garrus said.

"To the end now, Commander," Steve added.

"To the end." The whole group sat around the lounge drinking, laughing and enjoying their last moments on the Normandy. Kaidan was holding Shepard, a huge smile painted across his lips.

"And after that, we're all going to Vancouver for drinks!" Kaidan said.

"I think we'll have a few other things to do after we finish off the Reapers."

"Like what?" James asked.

"I think there's going to be a few weddings we all have to attend," Shepard replied with a smile toward Kaidan. Steve's eyes met James'. Both men smiled.

"A few."

"We'll need some good after all this bad." Steve and James weren't paying attention anymore, they were lost in each other's eyes. It was only seconds before their lips met. The room was cheering.

"Those two are worse than us..." Shepard laughed. Even though everyone was trying to be happy and pretend it was all okay, each of them knew it was possible none of them would survive.

"Well, I'd better get this bird moving, we should be almost to the Cerberus base," Joker said as he stood. EDI helped him to the elevator, and everyone else went back to their respective spots on the ship. Steve and James were silent as they got the shuttle ready for the assault on Ceberus.

"Damn I wish I had my trident."

"You always wish you had your trident Esteban," James noted. Steve laughed.

"The Kodiak flies like a brick." It might be the last time they got together, and neither of them were wasting it.

"Is the shuttle ready Steve?" Shepard asked over the intercom.

"Whenever you are Shepard!"

* * *

A/N: Uggh that felt short... But I keep getting distracted by all kinds of different things... A couple of different guys, both real and not... my sister's dog barking at absolutely nothing... And RvB fanfiction. So it's done.


	11. Into Hell

A/N: I'm going to get this done... I really am! No one is bothering me, the house is empty, and I babysit at 7. So I have to get this posted!

Thanks again to Nova, for catching my mistakes again. I'm very glad you're around to tell me these things...

Into Hell

Steve ran to the shuttle, everyone getting in quickly. Shepard, James and Kaidan were all in heavy combat armor, carrying assault rifles. EDI got on, her Locust SMG in hand.

"Can you get us in Steve?" Shepard asked.

"I may not be as good as Joker, but I'm almost as good! I'll get us in." He concentrated as he dodged the Cerberus shuttles, landing in the launch bay hard. Shepard got up off the floor.

"Everyone all right?"

"Yeah, but this bird isn't moving for a while. I'll have to stay here and make repairs here. You go to it!"

"James, protect Steve."

"Will do Commander," James replied. Steve started to make repairs while James waited for Cerberus to attack. Shepard and his team cleared the hangar and pushed forward.

"Lt. Vega, Lt. Cortez, reinforcements are coming your way. Prepare for combat!" EDI warned. James start out, but Steve grabbed his arm.

"Stay safe."

"You know me Esteban!"

"I love you James." James kissed Steve.

"I love you too Steve. I'll be fine." He leapt out of the shuttle, taking out Cerberus operatives while Steve worked.

"Come on! Bring it on!" Steve finished fixing the shuttle and pulled up his omni-tool.

"Shuttle is repaired James! Are you okay?"

"Doing great! Shepard must be really putting pressure on them, there aren't many out here."

"Be careful!" Shepard's team returned minutes later, looking no worse for wear.

"Is the shuttle ready?"

"Yes sir."

"Let's move! Get us back to the Normandy!" Steve flew the shuttle out of the base, and back to the Normandy. Shepard and Kaidan didn't even get off the shuttle before they embraced. Steve couldn't help but smile. Shepard went to the bridge as they joined Hackett's fleet. James grabbed a small metal ring from his workstation.

"Steve..." He wasn't sure what to say. Steve look up at him from his workstation. Those blue eyes pierced James' heart.

"James?" It was the time to speak. He had to. Finally, he took Steve's left hand, and put the ring on it.

"You already said yes so..." Steve smiled and cupped James' cheek.

"I love you James. Let's get out there, kick some ass, and as soon as the Reapers are all dead and gone, we'll find somewhere quiet to park my shuttle and celebrate."

"I like the way you think," James replied.

"Gives you a reason to survive."

"You're my reason to survive

"And you're mine. We'll make it," Steve said. They could hear Hackett adressing the fleet. James slid his arm around Steve. They waited while Joker flew through the Reapers, heading toward Earth. Shepard and Kaidan came into the shuttle bay.

"Let's go Steve, James!" The squad got onto the shuttle. Steve took off. They followed the rest of hammer as they went into Reaper territory.

"We're loosing shuttles fast! Shit!"

"What happened Steve?" Shepard said.

"Shuttle they just took out was in charge of that cannon."

"Who's on it now?"

"No one sir, all have either deployed or been shot down!" Steve replied.

"Drop is off!"

"Shepard?"

"We've got to take out that cannon."

"Sir."

"How the hell are we gonna take it out?" James asked.

"That shuttle would have been carrying heavy weapons."

"Then that's where we'll go." Steve landed the shuttle.

"Give 'em hell!" They got off the shuttle, taking down cannibals and husks.

"I can't stay here. I'll make a run around and be back to pick you up!"

"Be careful Steve!" James yelled back. Steve flew around trying to help as much as he could to help Shepard.

"You're got brutes!" He yelled as he made one run. He came back around.

"Shit! Airborne hostiles incoming! I'll try to keep them off you!" He flipped around, knowing it was a risky move.

"Be careful!" Shepard yelled. Steve looked behind him.

"Shit! I'm hit!"

"STEVE!" James howled. For a moment, time seemed to freeze. Steve regained control of the shuttle and lost the harvester.

"_Not today._"

"I'm okay! But I won't be picking you up. I've gotta land."

"Thank god! Get safe Steve!" Steve smiled. James had be terrified.

"He's okay James, we have to keep moving." Steve landed the shuttle, and a group of soldiers ran towad him. The group was made up of two asari, a salaian, a drell, three turians, two quarians, four humans, two geth and a krogan. As Steve stumbled out of the shuttle, one of the humans approached. He wore red and black N7 armor and was glowing a faint blue as he threw three husks out of the way. He pulled off his helmet, revealing messy black hair and silver eyes. Steve recognized him instantly.

"Dante Lee?"

"Steve Cortez! You're okay! What company are you with?" Dante asked as he lead his squad toward the Operations Base.

"I'm part of Commander Shepard's crew."

"Hell. You moved up in the world. How've you been since... you know. The collectors? Must be some amazing payback being here."

"I got over it. Robert was an amazing man, and I love him. But I'm not here for revenge. You're not here for Zak. You'd already be dead if you were here for Zak."

"No. I'm here for the bloody future. This is my fucking home. Steve, I know you though, you don't let go. You're not the crying, panicking mess I recall after I shoved you into that shuttle," Dante said as he led an injured asari to a bed. He pulled up his omni-tool and started to check her wounds.

"I found a reason to live." He stopped.

"Good for you. What is it?" Steve showed the simple ring on his hand.

"James Vega."

"Jimmy Vega! Ha! You know what, I don't blame you." A tech officer hurried in.

"Lt. Steve Cortez?"

"Yeah?"

"Got someone who wants to talk to you!" He went to see who was looking for him. It was Shepard.

"Steve! You're okay!"

"Yeah, would have been different if I'd had my trident..."

"I think there's someone here you want to talk to more than me." Shepard stepped back, and James replaced him. Steve smiled.

"James."

"I'm glad you're okay."

"You too. It's hell out here," Steve replied.

"Yeah. I love you Steve. Don't get hurt. I need you."

"I know James. I love you too. Come back to me, alive," Steve said.

"I will. We're going in."

"James... Go kick those bastards out of our galaxy."

"Anything for you Esteban," James replied. He left.

"You really are in love aren't you?" Dante asked as Steve closed his eyes.

"I am. He'd better come back to me." Dante smiled.

"I know him. He'll come back alive. Reckless son of a bitch, but he's strong." Steve helped Dante move a salarian into a bed. The injuries were skyrocketing.

"I'm gonna need an evac... and a doc who can work on aliens."

"Call the Normandy. Chakwas can handle them," Steve replied.

"Worth a try. SSV Normandy, this is Alliance Captain Dante Lee. I need evac and medical care for about ten aliens and two humans. I've also got one of your crew."

"We read you Captain Lee. This is SSV Normandy coming to your location. Who is with you from our crew?" Joker asked.

"Lt. Steve Cortez."

"We're on our way, so hang tight!"

"Help me get them ready to move," Dante said. They got everyone who was injured onto stretchers, and the ones who could walk ready to move. As the Normandy landed, they got all of them onto the ship.

"I'm going to need some help here," Chakwas said. Dante looked to his company.

"We'll be fine on our own sir!" one of his soldiers said with a salute.

"No heroics, you hear me? All of you'd better be alive when I get back!"

"Sir!" the remaining crew chorused. Dante got onto the ship with Steve, and they took off. Steve went to the CIC while Dante joined Chakwas taking care of his crew. Shepard called.

"Normandy! I need an evac now!"

"On our way Shepard!" They got to the conduit, finding Kaidan and James injured. Steve rushed to them.

"Kaidan, I love you... always."

"I love you too, Shepard."

"James, take care of him," Shepard said.

"Will do... and Shepard... you'd better come back alive!" The Normandy crew covered them as they got into the ship, and took off. Kaidan was put in the medbay with Dante's injured crew, but James wouldn't have it. As soon as someone had taken Kaidan from him, James hugged Steve. He was covered in blood and had some rough burns and scrapes, but he was alive. Steve helped him out of his amror, and cleaned his wounds. They were going toward the citadel to get Shepard, Joker in a frenzy. Then, they got the call to leave. James and Steve waited in silence... as they left Shepard behind. Steve could hear Kaidan on the bridge, yelling incoherantly. He and James rushed to the elevator. As they got to the CIC, Steve ran to Kaidan, who was on the ground on his knees, his wounds tended to, crying.

"Kaidan, relax... Shepard... no, Adam loved you. Just remember that," Steve said. Kaidan nodded.

"Adam..." He sniffled. James sighed. But they weren't out of it yet. A green wave washed over the ship and they were crashing onto a planet. Joker leveled out the ship, and let out a sigh of relief. The war was offically over. But they had all changed.

* * *

A/N: I didn't know where to stop this! So I decided here was good. XD one more chapter. This was much longer than my last one. And my next should be about this long. And yes, I'm going with the sythesis ending, why? It's the one that made me cry. I loved it.


	12. In the Aftermath

A/N: So this is it! ^^ The end! Much thanks to Adam, who let me borrow his Shepard (my MSheps always look so bad...), Dante, who allowed me to steal half his penname and his likeness for Captain Lee last chapter, and of course, Nova who has very sweetly pointed out my typos and helped me make this better. And of course, to EVERYONE who has been reading and reviewing! All of you are awesome and I'm glad to have written this.

In the Aftermath

Joker was the first to exit the Normandy to see where they'd landed. All of their tech was fried from the blast. EDI and Kaidan followed. The first thing Joker noticed as different, was that his bones felt less fragile. Nothing was broken. Then Steve and James got off the ship. It was suddenly apparent that something had changed. EDI instantly understood instantly what had happened, and explained it to the rest of the crew.

"We have someone to add to the wall," James said. Kaidan nodded. After fixing all the damage sustained during combat, escape and the crash, they gathered around the memorial wall. Steve and James stood together, as Kaidan placed a final name on the wall. _Commander Adam Shepard. _Kaidan stepped back, and looked to EDI. She smiled, and hugged him.

"We will remember him, Kaidan," she said.

"I know."

The crew took off, returning to Earth. Everyone was rebuilding-even the Reapers. James and Steve joined a group of soliders retaking the Citadel. Their first task was to locate Shepard's body... if there was one to find. Kaidan joined them, on the verge of tears.

"Here, this is where the Crucible connects to the Citadel," Steve said looking up from his omni-tool. They had found their way to the spot where Shepard should have been. Kaidan walked forward, and found Shepard's dog tags lying on the ground. He fell to his knees.

"He's gone." Steve knelt next to Kaidan. He was crying.

"You have your memories of him Kaidan... no one can take your past away." As Kaidan's tears hit the ground, Shepard's tags started to float. From them, a neck and strong shoulders started to materialize. Next came his face, chest and arms... then finally his legs and feet. Kaidan grabbed him. Shepard was alive.

"Kaidan... I thought... I thought I'd never see you again."

"What just happened here?" James aksed.

"A miracle Mr. Vega, a miracle." Steve leaned against James, a smile on his face as Kaidan hugged Shepard. James slid his arm around Steve's shoulders.

"A miracle eh? I don't know that I believe that. Good things happen to good people. Shepard is a damn good person."

"Maybe we're both wrong and it's because Shepard is so loved by Kaidan, his crew and all the people in the galaxy he's helped." James smiled.

"I think that's it. You said it before, we have love. It's what makes us try harder to survive."

"And, it's what won the war."

_A war, won by love._

* * *

Weeks later, Kaidan and Shepard got married in Vancouver. It was a huge affair with an insane amount of guests.

The next week, it was James and Steve's turn. Smaller, quieter, on the beach of Florida. Shepard was with Steve, right as it started.

"Nervous?" Shepard asked. Steve smiled.

"I've done this before, remember Shepard? I can't wait." Shepard took his arm, and they walked down the aisle. Shepard handed Steve off to James.

"Take care of him, James." To the right of Steve were Samantha, Liara and Tali, all in pretty sundresses with tears in their eyes. To the left of James, Kaidan, Joker and Garrus were pretending they weren't all about to cry too. Liara was the first to start. Kaidan soon followed, and soon, almost everyone had tears. As James took Steve to kiss him, he gently dipped him backwards. Everyone was standing and cheering as their lips met. It wasn't as big as Shepard and Kaidan's, but it was every bit as sweet and tear filled.

A few days later, the whole Normandy crew sat on the beach, a pitcher of margaritas in Samantha's hand, a full glass sitting somewhere near all of them. James was drinking out of a bottle of tequila. Everyone was laughing, recounting stories, and honoring their fallen friends.

"I can't believe we all made it here," James said.

"It's pretty amazing. All of us started in such different places before all of this," Kaidan replied.

"But I'm glad we all made it here," Steve added leaning against James.

"To the bravest damned man in the galaxy, here's to you Shepard!" Chakwas said. Everyone raised their glass, Shepard laughing.

"To all of you, my crew that followed me into hell." As night started to fall, Steve looked to James.

"You okay James?"

"Don't worry about me, Esteban."

"I'll always worry about you Mr. Vega." James laughed.

"I love you."

"I love you too, James." Steve pulled James closer, and kissed him.

The galaxy would move forward. Shepard had made sure of it. And the war with the Reapers had come to an end, through love, compassion and the bravery of Shepard and everyone in the galaxy.

For Steve and James, it just meant that they could move on, and be happy with their lives. That was the hardest blow to the once-threat of the Reapers; the normal life that followed.

* * *

A/N: I had two endings here... but the other one was sad so I tossed it. XD In my headcannon, Shepard always lives. I'm not done messing with Mass Effect yet though. Too much awesome. I just have to decide between Joker/Kaidan, Vega/Shepard, and Thane/Shepard. I'd love to hear any suggestions! ^^


End file.
